Acceptance

Yesterday a student confided in me that she is having challenges with her teenage sons, which often leave her incensed. "That's bad, right?" She asked. "I do yoga so I shouldn't feel angry, right?"

I knew what she was facing. For years now whenever I mention to someone that I feel drained, overwhelmed, or angry the typical response is, "But you're a YOGA teacher". As if teaching yoga is equivalent to being high on happy pills 24 hours per day. Make no mistake, I estimate that I do feel content, happy, peaceful, and joyful probably 90% of the time. That doesn't make me immune to feeling grief when a loved one is ill or dying, nor does it prevent me from feeling overwhelmed when I have a zillion things on my to-do list. What it does do is make me more aware of what I am actually feeling in that moment. I no longer feel the need to put on the faux smile and tell others I am "great" when I'm not. I have become more accepting of the present moment in whatever it brings. I encouraged my student to acknowledge her anger the next time it comes up and to take as much time alone as she needs to process it. Pretending it doesn't exist and scolding ourselves for not being the picture of calm will only push those feelings down. The further down they go the more they become the poison that is resentment. As Dr. Wayne Dyer says, "resentment is like drinking the poison you intend for someone else". Enough said.

Our yoga practice becomes our dress rehearsal for these situations. A classic overachiever for most of my life, I was quickly humbled when I began practicing Ashtanga yoga. Headstand was rough for me. Scary, difficult, intimidating, frustrating, etc. I spent weeks if not months pretending to not feel those things. Eventually it became impossible for me to wear the facade of "no big deal" on the outside while the fire of all those nasty feelings burned brighter inside. On the brink of giving up, I finally admitted to myself that I was scared and frustrated. Upon acknowledging those things I was able to see deeper into the root of WHY I felt that way. Headstand was just the catalyst for old, dingy fears and judgements to bubble to the surface. I made peace with how I felt. The pose was no longer the end of the line for me. I realized that even if I never achieved the pose itself it had been cause for exploration into my higher self. And that was certainly worth it. In hindsight I came to see that if I could overcome an obstacle such as this maybe I could face challenges off the mat as well.

Only when we accept what IS can we find peace. Not what we want it to be, not what it had been yesterday, but what is here, now, in the present. If acceptance is challenging remember the golden rule: When in doubt, remind yourself that this too is impermanent. It will pass. Knowing that it will not last forever makes the pill of acceptance easier to swallow.

Staying Focused

Each Tuesday I meet with an intimate group of colleagues to chant the Yoga Sutras. Today our Sutra analysis turned into an animated discussion of the economy, politics, astrology (we are in mercury retrograde right now, which presents communication obstacles), and the challenges our world is facing today. Add the media into the mix and the drama escalates even more. Of course most of us are affected in some way by all of this, the most basic level being our earth and environment.

We can't force the stock market back up, nor can we force people to vote for our own presidential preference (ahem, Obama). Freedom comes when we realize that being a control freak is a waste of time, because the universe is not ours to micromanage. HOWEVER, there are a few things we can control.

• We can choose to take this one breath in this moment. 
• We can choose to be peaceful in our interactions with the earth and all beings.
• We can choose to think of the global impact of our decisions instead of solely our own benefit.
• We can choose to lead by example instead of judging others' choices.
• We can choose to have faith in our path, even if it isn't mainstream.
• We can choose to do the least harm possible in this moment.
• We can choose to send love, compassion, and peace to all beings, especially to those we find cruel and hurtful. They need it most.
• We can choose to trust that THE UNIVERSE IS NEVER WRONG! Have faith, all these challenges will pass in time.

Being in the NOW!

It seems as the last post really struck a chord with many readers. The question of balancing so many things at once and still managing to enjoy ourselves is undoubtedly a challenging one to answer. Yet, Yoga and other countless spiritual traditions answer this question in a downright straightforward way: Be Present. Absorb this moment and thus find contentment in its uniqueness and beauty.

Straightforward, yes. Easy to achieve? Yes and no. 

Yes in that all we need to do is allow ourselves to truly BE in the moment. Of course the yoga mat is the perfect place to practice this. So is a quiet spot by an atlar, out in nature, etc. When "conditions are perfect" it actually isn't hard to truly be present with all that is. But how much of the day is actually spent on the mat, by the altar, or alone in the woods? HMMMM......now we can see why being in the moment is harder than it looks.

If we run through a typical day in our mind we will probably find a few of those peaceful moments scattered amongst the day's errands, child care, career duties, and household responsibilities. The key is to remind ourselves that conditions do NOT have to be perfect in order to find peace in the now. In other words, when we are doing the dishes let's try to be doing them with our mind and body, rather than going through the motions while our mind is at Starbucks or on a shopping spree. There is serenity in feeling the warmth of the water, the smell of the soap, the meditation of being completely involved in one single thing instead of thousands. The same can be done with any activity that pops up in our day, and if we embrace it while it is happening instead of wishing we were someplace else the situation will be much less drab. Not to mention, we will probably be much more productive as all our energy and intention will be committed to the NOW. Think about it.....have you ever missed your exit on the highway or burned yourself in the kitchen when you were totally present? I usually do those things when I am daydreaming about India, my future beach house, or surfing, but NEVER when I am fully conscious of the now. Practicing presence has helped me to enjoy my "fun time" more because I am more deeply in it, instead of my mind being at work, updating my website, and the like.

Yes, this is easier in theory than it is in practice. The good news is that the mind is like a muscle. It must be trained to be stronger and more controlled. Practice it, just like you would practice your yoga poses. When you need some motivation juice, here is what I recommend:

-The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle

-Living with Joy, by Sanaya Roman

-Meditate, meditate meditate!!!!!!!!!!

-I would LOVE to start a meditation group. Please contact me if you are interested and we will find a mutually agreeable date and time. 

-Just get on your mat and do some YOGA. Even a little bit will go a long way, mentally speaking.

Boundaries

Has it really been almost a month since I have blogged? Shame on me!

Actually, it was quasi-intentional. After returning from India June 1st I was feeling the "post vacation guilt". I proceeded to work myself into a frenzy. This is not difficult to do when you LOVE your job, LOVE your clients, and get excited about going to work every day. However, after the fun and fabulous Summer Retreat in July I realized that the summer was quickly passing me by. What's the point of becoming successful in your career if you start missing out on everything else?

Action had to be taken. I declared August "have fun month" and I am proud to say that I took it very seriously. I worked, but not quite as much. I slowed the pace of my days considerably. I visited family and friends at the beach. Any work or personal chores that were not urgent were filed into my "post labor day to do list". I am happy to say they have remained there until today, and I have begun checking them off without returning to frenzy mode. I found joy in saying no to appointments that I didn't feel like making. If I client cancelled I took it as a blessing and went out to play, rather than spend my time counting the money I didn't make. Have Fun Month transformed into a month of reclaiming control over my schedule and life. I am reminded that there is power in having boundaries, saying no and keeping time for yourself. Money, success, and career are important......I feel they should even be enjoyable. But not at the expense of mental health or quality time. 

The challenge for me now is to find balance as the busy season approaches. Slow down when needed, speed up when wanted, and continue to be present. I'm sure many of you can relate, so don't be afraid to comment!

This picture is of me, Ben, and a beach bonfire in Montauk over labor day weekend. The culmination of Have Fun Month!

Welcome to Sara's Yoga Blog!

Welcome to Sara's Yoga Blog! I, Sara Intonato, have been teaching yoga for over five years and practicing for seven. I have learned an immense amount thus far but I know it is only the tip of the iceberg. I often get caught up in interesting discussions regarding yoga, spirituality, holistic health, nutrition, astrology, etc. with my students and even with strangers. I am happy to open this blog up as a means for those discussions to continue and grow. Please contact me at sara@sarayoga.com if you would like to begin yoga or if you have any other questions. Namaste.