Acceptance

Yesterday a student confided in me that she is having challenges with her teenage sons, which often leave her incensed. "That's bad, right?" She asked. "I do yoga so I shouldn't feel angry, right?"

I knew what she was facing. For years now whenever I mention to someone that I feel drained, overwhelmed, or angry the typical response is, "But you're a YOGA teacher". As if teaching yoga is equivalent to being high on happy pills 24 hours per day. Make no mistake, I estimate that I do feel content, happy, peaceful, and joyful probably 90% of the time. That doesn't make me immune to feeling grief when a loved one is ill or dying, nor does it prevent me from feeling overwhelmed when I have a zillion things on my to-do list. What it does do is make me more aware of what I am actually feeling in that moment. I no longer feel the need to put on the faux smile and tell others I am "great" when I'm not. I have become more accepting of the present moment in whatever it brings. I encouraged my student to acknowledge her anger the next time it comes up and to take as much time alone as she needs to process it. Pretending it doesn't exist and scolding ourselves for not being the picture of calm will only push those feelings down. The further down they go the more they become the poison that is resentment. As Dr. Wayne Dyer says, "resentment is like drinking the poison you intend for someone else". Enough said.

Our yoga practice becomes our dress rehearsal for these situations. A classic overachiever for most of my life, I was quickly humbled when I began practicing Ashtanga yoga. Headstand was rough for me. Scary, difficult, intimidating, frustrating, etc. I spent weeks if not months pretending to not feel those things. Eventually it became impossible for me to wear the facade of "no big deal" on the outside while the fire of all those nasty feelings burned brighter inside. On the brink of giving up, I finally admitted to myself that I was scared and frustrated. Upon acknowledging those things I was able to see deeper into the root of WHY I felt that way. Headstand was just the catalyst for old, dingy fears and judgements to bubble to the surface. I made peace with how I felt. The pose was no longer the end of the line for me. I realized that even if I never achieved the pose itself it had been cause for exploration into my higher self. And that was certainly worth it. In hindsight I came to see that if I could overcome an obstacle such as this maybe I could face challenges off the mat as well.

Only when we accept what IS can we find peace. Not what we want it to be, not what it had been yesterday, but what is here, now, in the present. If acceptance is challenging remember the golden rule: When in doubt, remind yourself that this too is impermanent. It will pass. Knowing that it will not last forever makes the pill of acceptance easier to swallow.

Adjustment Clinic

When: Saturday 11/8/08 12:30-6:30pm

Where: Balance Yoga and Healing 

Cost: $100 (includes workshop and hand outs)

The ability to adjust others and to adjust yourself comes from a two-fold understanding. While knowledge and technique are important, so is the ability to read the physical and energetic signals of the individual you are teaching. Great adjustments used incorrectly for someone's ability, body type, or even mental and emotional state become worthless or even detrimental. On the contrary, a small but perfectly applied adjustment can allow the practitioner to transcend boundaries they didn't even know existed. In this workshop we will:

• Learn adjustments for several important asana, including standing and floor poses
• How to apply these adjustments for your own practice in addition to students of all abilities
• Learn to "read" yourself and your students' bodies and energies, in order to determine the best way to adjust
• Deepen your understanding of human anatomy and how it is affected by yoga, emotions, and touch

This workshop is open to both practitioners and teachers, as the learning takes place from both angles.

Please contact me directly to register: sara@sarayoga.com or 516-521-7545

Save the Date

It is with much joy (and a little intimidation) that I invite all of my beloved readers to a holiday chanting celebration. My chanting teacher has decided that myself and the rest of my chanting group are ready for our first concert. The theme of the show will be healing chants and mantra, something that all of us need during the chaos between Thanksgiving and the New Year. We will be chanting from the Vedas and Yoga Sutras, which will be inspiring for all. It is a complimentary show and your presence is welcome. I could certainly use your support to quell my nerves!!! Here's the scoop:

What: Concert of Healing Chants

Where: Balance Yoga and Healing

When: Saturday, 12/20 6-8pm

Cost: Nada!

Why: In addition to the gorgeous sounds of ancient sanskrit chants we will end the evening with a vegan dessert buffet. Yum!

Contact me with any questions. Kids of all ages are welcome.

I'm Back!!!

My dear readers, I am so sorry to have neglected you. I've had a wild few weeks, but all was well worth it. The fall retreat in Jamesport was fantastic on all accounts. Probably my favorite retreat that I have led thus far. Stay tuned for the spring date!

Now that I am back on the blogosphere I will have all kinds of juicy scoop to post. Events, reflections, tips for practice and life. Feels good to be home!

Love,

Sara

Inspiration

This is a poem found on the wall in Mother Teresa's orphanage in Calcutta. Its' source is unknown. I hope it inspires you as much as it does me.

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

Epiphany

This morning's practice was "interesting". Translation: mentally challenging. I am grateful to be blessed with a physical body that is rarely sick or injured. My mind, on the other hand, has its weak moments. Today was one of them.

My friend, April, is known to say that "a flexible spine is a flexible mind". This morning during Kapotasana (a deep 2nd series backbend) neither one wanted to cooperate. It was almost like watching a movie screen; I saw myself doing the asana, saw myself judge my progress as "not good enough", and proceeded to feel like a kapotasana failure. The only good news was that I was totally AWARE of this as it was happening, which I know is the first step to change. 

I finished my practice and enjoyed the rest thoroughly, yet I was still hung up on this one pose. Not feeling okay with the fact that I couldn't let it go, I decided to take a deep, hard look and ask myself why this was still coming up? Most yoga practitioners know that this is not an easy thing, as the poses typically stir up those parts of us that need examining. For me Kapotasana brought up my deep seeded fear of failure. Failure of not being good enough, whether in my back bends, in my teaching, in my marriage, in my family interactions, etc. I spent much time probing deep into my mind and asking myself a string of "why" questions until I found the root cause of this fear. After meditating to find stillness and practicing acceptance throughout the day I finally feel I have come to peace with it. Here is the kicker though:

THIS WAS NOT THE END OF THE EPIPHANY!!!!

Being a dedicated Ashtangi I try my hardest to pass on the teachings of Guruji and the lineage to all my students, as most teachers of this tradition do. Somewhere though, the western translation has been muddled. The poses are a means to strengthen the mind. Yes, they will strengthen the body as well, but that is simply a by-product of the practice. Yet, for many of us this is where we get hung up (Kapotasana anyone?). We understand that we need to be adaptable and accepting and find a balance between our practice and daily responsibilities. Yet, we STILL judge ourselves when we don't bind or feel guilty if we cut our practice short once in a while. The deeper I dig the more I realize that this is not what Guruji is trying to pass on.

Sharath tells us that doing advanced asana does not create enlightenment. It is the mental absorption that brings transformation. Sun salutes, if done with the right state of mind, can trigger self realization. Advanced asana, if done for egoic purposes, will not. Saraswati, Guruji's daughter, recently gave an interview discussing how to mesh one's practice with having a job, a home, and a family. Frankly, she doesn't emphasize the asana as being super important. Rather, strength of MIND is what makes the difference. This can be practiced with or without a yoga mat. Guruji himself is known to say that Ashtanga Yoga is a "breathing practice and the rest is just bending". So if these are the roots of the Ashtanga method, then who the heck put so much emphasis on doing the poses perfectly? Drumroll please......US!!!!!!!!!

Many feel that Ashtanga Yoga is only for the physically strong, young, fit, and healthy population. To this I pass on the answer that Sharath gave to me when I spoke to him in person about this very issue just a few months ago. "Teach to your audience. Advanced poses do not equal enlightenment. Who says that one cannot become self-realized doing sun salutes and standing poses only? It is a state of mind that dictates the outcome of practice."

My conclusions are these: Ashtanga Yoga did not inject me with my fear of failure. Rather, it brought to the surface something it might have taken much longer to work through had I not been doing this practice. The next time I am struggling with attachment to our asana practice I vow to recognize it for what it is: weakness of mind. Ashtanga Yoga, just like anything else, is what you make of it. If it is about having a great asana practice you will face those issues. If it is about strengthening your mind you will be able to practice it for a lifetime.

All or Nothin'

The all or nothing mentality is easy to spot, because we all become enraptured in it at some point.  So often a student of mine will say something resembling, "I couldn't come to class last night because I was tired", or "I didn't practice at all yesterday because I would've had to cut it short". My personal favorite "All or Nothing" quote comes from my own father, whom often says, "I can't go to yoga class yet because I am not flexible enough". 

The beauty of Yoga is that it is not black or white. Rather, it is a tool that helps us to find the gray area, that unique place where we are in this moment, and to determine what we need NOW. When we are tired, stiff, or pressed for time it is not our physical body preventing us from practice. It is our own mind. We figure that if we can't do our full practice then it isn't worth doing anything. We don't realize that "progress" in Yoga is not measured in time spent on the mat, nor is it dependent upon having a practice worthy of the Yoga Journal's photo spreads. It is to give us the strength and clarity to still our crazy minds. Five minutes of yoga for that purpose alone is more powerful than hours of asana (poses) without intention. 

There have been times where I've had to cut a practice short due to responsibilities. There have also been times where I was aching, sick, tired, and unfocused but practiced anyway. I might not have had practices that looked stunning on those days, but I know this: I emerged from my mat a thousand times more centered and emotionally stable then before I started. I have NEVER regretted a practice. One of the most amazing practices I've ever had was during a brutal ribcage injury (thanks to surfing). The pain forced me into mindfulness. My mind wasn't concerned about grabbing my legs in back-bending, it just wanted some peace.The result was feeling lighter than ever before. That day cemented for me the importance and the purpose of practice. Our practice, just like life, will rarely be perfect. As soon as it is we will find new challenges to conquer. Whether 15 minutes of breathing or a full 2 hour asana practice, the result is always the same.......and always crucial to living a better life.

Yoga Sutra I:II Yogas Citta Vritti Nirodhah; Yoga is the control of the fluctuations of the mind.